It’s Narcissist Friday!
Imagine walking into a room full of people and beginning to categorize them by their usefulness. Imagine pursuing a relationship with a person with energy and persistence and then abandoning that person just a few months later. Imagine every relationship in your life having a certain purpose and plan.
What? You can’t imagine living like that? The narcissist can.
It seems important to re-examine this thing called “de-personalization” once in a while. It is so foreign to the way most of us were raised or grew up that it is just plain hard to believe.
The narcissist either cannot see or has trouble remembering that other people are real. They are, as we have said before, “tools, toys, or obstacles.” Because life is all about building and maintaining the great image of self, the narcissist only sees people according to their usefulness.
For example, I have known…
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Unsafe People – Identifying and Protecting Ourselves from Narcissists – http://wp.me/p2wrAq-un
Years ago when I started my career as a psychotherapist, a seasoned colleague gave me perhaps the best piece of professional advice I had ever received. She told me, “if you don’t want to burn out in this field, never work harder on solving your client’s problems than they do”.
This wonderful morsel of advice saved me from the all to common burn out of a career that so many mental health professionals who don’t exercise good boundaries often experience.
And it can save you too.
By refusing to work harder than your partner on solving the problems in your relationship, you can weed out the manipulators, controllers and users and avoid being taken advantage of and carrying all the emotional weight in the relationship.
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