I decided the next thing I’ll delve into is mirroring. (Holy shit balls Batman! I could have wrote that entry!) Bear with me as I feel the need to back up a bit. ~ I may edit this one, as I feel it is a bit rambling. ~
While I had a good idea as to what C.B.’s next move would be (involving JR) back in late August see: Oh The Control Freaks, and How I Find Every. Single. One of Them, I was disturbed by what her actions turned out to be. I had hoped she wouldn’t stoop to the level that she did.
As her combative, general nastiness increased at work, and the fact that her and J would soon implode, it did cross my mind that she would move in with JR. I briefly thought that she would go back to the place she (we) lived with her ex who tried to kill her, but she hated the conditions there, so I ruled that out. It was then I got the inkling that she would go live with JR. I talked with my ex husband about it, and got disbelief from him. His opinion was, she knows what he did to me, she knows he’s not a good guy, why would she do that? She has never lived on her own. She talked big about finding her own place because she had never had her own place. But, she’s a future faker, who also can’t be alone. (What’s a future faker? Find out here.) Why would JR let her move in? He’s a narcissistic sociopath who is bent on revenge, and punishing me. What better way to try hurt me then to get together with my “friend”?
Yes, she did know what he did to me, and how he acted with me. She saw the show firsthand. She knew that it was a fight for me to pay for anything. I insisted on paying my way, he would fight and argue with me, the kicker being that later on he would say I was using him, that he was “just a wallet.” (This is all part of his running script, women use him for the money he insists upon throwing around, poor guy.) But, to someone who actually uses people for what they can get out of them, this information is gold.
She brags about getting her way, being able to get out of tight spots, by manipulation. (Not over the top bragging, mind you, but it’s there) They had already been talking behind my back when she asked if he had a room to rent, back when I lived with him. She also knew that at that time things got bad for me, with him, since she is one of the people I confided in. I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to move in, and JR wouldn’t agree to it because he was worried about her then boyfriend. (I wonder if violent abusers can spot other violent abusers? Probably.) I brushed her off telling her that the room was likely going to D’s friends. So she had already planted that seed well before, hedging her bets.
Back Up Plan (AKA Secondary Supply)
She had moved from her long term boyfriends house, into the other man’s house, and was making sure she had another back up plan. When that plan was (temporarily) thwarted, she later found another in J. They had been spending time together due, legitimately, to work. Which progressed into doing couple type outings outside of work, how convenient.
So, she started out by posing as a friend, and then chatting up my boyfriend behind my back. She offers us a lifeline (phone) for my daughter, and eventually a place to get away from JR.
Side note ~ Here’s some more hindsight: going back over so many of the incidents that happened at work, with me being either accused or scrutinized for things, she always had a hand in it with the other flying monkey. Nearly all of those instances came back to her. Started by her and then the flames were fanned by the other FM. Why? Because she wanted full time, and wanted to be promoted. The odd phone call at home asking me about something that I had only second hand knowledge of, from who else? Her. Yet somehow it got pointed at me. The parts I was accused of stealing during the screaming match? Her. I had absolutely nothing to do with it, but she did. See: Targeted by the Flying Monkey The clarity after not living in a constant state of anxiety and stress I tell ya. ~
She keeps in contact with JR, while he’s actively stalking and harassing me, to “help” me. When he was into work every other day for eight days, I’m thinking that had a whole lot to do with, you guessed it! Her! Those Sunday visits to my job with the OW, who waited on him? I know, it’s just to easy, but her.
When we moved away from her, I was able to effectively use the Grey Rock Method. Well, she was desperate for a reaction/confrontation from me. So her behavior kept increasing and increasing, culminating in her Jennifer Jason Leigh impression. Putting two and two together, it looks like this:
1) I moved out of her sphere of control.
2) I got my own phone account and my daughter a phone on that account, asked to have my phone moved to my account. (More loss of control)
3) I got the promotion that she wanted (despite her/their best efforts). This sparked more jealousy, envy and rage. She subsequently refuses to acknowledge my authority (I was her superior to begin with), and leads to more undermining behaviors/acting out at work.
4) I was on the way to getting my own place without her, and without her input.
5) I decided that I could no longer be in a friendship with her, so she was getting no personal info on me. She, and those close to her are blocked on social media. She has no address or correct phone number for me.
I can’t say what the catalyst was that she decided that she wanted what was my life. Repeating of a pattern for her, sure. JR is essentially the same guy as her ex. I’m guessing she saw the stalking as proof of his love for me? She wanted what I had? So bring on dying her hair my color and moving in with my ex? Has she gleened other aspects of my personality? I couldn’t tell you. I don’t seek out any information on or about her.
There you go, he’s yours. That store is all yours too. Keep that batshit crazy over there please.