Next Up, Mirroring

                                   imitation

I decided the next thing I’ll delve into is mirroring. (Holy shit balls Batman! I could have wrote that entry!) Bear with me as I feel the need to back up a bit. ~ I may edit this one, as I feel it is a bit rambling. ~

While I had a good idea as to what C.B.’s next move would be (involving JR) back in late August see: Oh The Control Freaks, and How I Find Every. Single. One of Them, I was disturbed by what her actions turned out to be. I had hoped she wouldn’t stoop to the level that she did.

As her combative, general nastiness increased at work, and the fact that her and J would soon implode, it did cross my mind that she would move in with JR. I briefly thought that she would go back to the place she (we) lived with her ex who tried to kill her, but she hated the conditions there, so I ruled that out. It was then I got the inkling that she would go live with JR. I talked with my ex husband about it, and got disbelief from him. His opinion was, she knows what he did to me, she knows he’s not a good guy, why would she do that? She has never lived on her own. She talked big about finding her own place because she had never had her own place. But, she’s a future faker, who also can’t be alone. (What’s a future faker? Find out here.) Why would JR let her move in? He’s a narcissistic sociopath who is bent on revenge, and punishing me. What better way to try hurt me then to get together with my “friend”?

Motivation

Yes, she did know what he did to me, and how he acted with me. She saw the show firsthand. She knew that it was a fight for me to pay for anything. I insisted on paying my way, he would fight and argue with me, the kicker being that later on he would say I was using him, that he was “just a wallet.” (This is all part of his running script, women use him for the money he insists upon throwing around, poor guy.) But, to someone who actually uses people for what they can get out of them, this information is gold.

She brags about getting her way, being able to get out of tight spots, by manipulation. (Not over the top bragging, mind you, but it’s there) They had already been talking behind my back when she asked if he had a room to rent, back when I lived with him. She also knew that at that time things got bad for me, with him, since she is one of the people I confided in. I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to move in, and JR wouldn’t agree to it because he was worried about her then boyfriend. (I wonder if violent abusers can spot other violent abusers? Probably.) I brushed her off telling her that the room was likely going to D’s friends. So she had already planted that seed well before, hedging her bets.

Back Up Plan (AKA Secondary Supply)

She had moved from her long term boyfriends house, into the other man’s house, and was making sure she had another back up plan. When that plan was (temporarily) thwarted, she later found another in J. They had been spending time together due, legitimately, to work. Which progressed into doing couple type outings outside of work, how convenient.

                          boatdrillingholes

So, she started out by posing as a friend, and then chatting up my boyfriend behind my back. She offers us a lifeline (phone) for my daughter, and eventually a place to get away from JR.

Side note ~ Here’s some more hindsight: going back over so many of the incidents that happened at work, with me being either accused or scrutinized for things, she always had a hand in it with the other flying monkey. Nearly all of those instances came back to her. Started by her and then the flames were fanned by the other FM. Why? Because she wanted full time, and wanted to be promoted. The odd phone call at home asking me about something that I had only second hand knowledge of, from who else? Her. Yet somehow it got pointed at me. The parts I was accused of stealing during the screaming match? Her. I had absolutely nothing to do with it, but she did. See: Targeted by the Flying Monkey The clarity after not living in a constant state of anxiety and stress I tell ya. ~

She keeps in contact with JR, while he’s actively stalking and harassing me, to “help” me. When he was into work every other day for eight days, I’m thinking that had a whole lot to do with, you guessed it! Her! Those Sunday visits to my job with the OW, who waited on him? I know, it’s just to easy, but her.

                                     singlewhitefemale

When we moved away from her, I was able to effectively use the Grey Rock Method. Well, she was desperate for a reaction/confrontation from me. So her behavior kept increasing and increasing, culminating in her Jennifer Jason Leigh impression. Putting two and two together, it looks like this:

1) I moved out of her sphere of control.

2) I got my own phone account and my daughter a phone on that account, asked to have my phone moved to my account. (More loss of control)

3) I got the promotion that she wanted (despite her/their best efforts). This sparked more jealousy, envy and rage. She subsequently refuses to acknowledge my authority (I was her superior to begin with), and leads to more undermining behaviors/acting out at work.

4)  I was on the way to getting my own place without her, and without her input.

5) I decided that I could no longer be in a friendship with her, so she was getting no personal info on me. She, and those close to her are blocked on social media. She has no address or correct phone number for me.

I can’t say what the catalyst was that she decided that she wanted what was my life. Repeating of a pattern for her, sure. JR is essentially the same guy as her ex. I’m guessing she saw the stalking as proof of his love for me? She wanted what I had? So bring on dying her hair my color and moving in with my ex? Has she gleened other aspects of my personality? I couldn’t tell you. I don’t seek out any information on or about her.

There you go, he’s yours. That store is all yours too. Keep that batshit crazy over there please.

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Glorious Silence

                             shitpot

I’m almost passed the two month mark. Two full months of me being completely away from him and his flying monkeys. There’s been no sending of people to talk to me, no sudden text messages from ex roommates, no sending his parents into my work. I can hardly believe it. I’ve become used to waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’ve gotten excited before, last summer he went 26 days without doing something. The longest time period before that was when I had the temporary restraining order, that was two months of peace.

Not that my old coworkers haven’t tried to draw me back into their insanity packed drama, they have. 12 days at the new job and I get a phone call (at work) from FM/new store manager, begging me to come back. “Please come back, I’ll send C.B. over there. She wants to go over there, to be the assistant manager. Please come back. She’s driving me crazy, she wants to be my assistant manager.” Me, “No, I can’t come back. Why not make her your assistant manager? Why would she want to come here?” I kept telling her no, I would not come back. The only connection that the narcopath still had to me, was that fucking store. That was it. I had cut off every other connection.

                   noecard

I have settled into the new store nicely. Things have improved greatly at that store, numbers, better customer service. It’s been a good thing. And it’s so calm there. My stress level has decreased dramatically. Even still I figured that it’s inevitable that JR will pop up sometime. I told my manager that it’s just a matter of time. He told me that if he, and the other customer who was talking about his penis with C.B. (to make me uncomfortable) come to this store, he’s going to kick them out and tell them they have to shop at the other store. Finally!! I also asked him about C.B. coming there and he said no way. That before he was sent to the new store, he decided that he was going to find her replacement since she was causing so many problems there. Another YAY! I don’t have to worry about her following me there.

              batshitcrazythere

March 28th, D comes into work, and begs me again to come back. Making me all these promises. She’ll give me my promotion back, it’s her discretion. She wants to fire C.B. C.B. still won’t do her job (she also got promoted after I left, but not the promotion she wanted.) That store is crashing and burning, along with everyone in it. My thoughts are that she made this bed, and now she can lie in it. If I would have stayed there it would have been the two of them against me, with Crazy on the side. I reiterated to her again that I have to stay away from Crazy Asshole. She tried lying saying that he doesn’t come in anymore, that C.B. usually buys his stuff for him. I told her no, AGAIN. Then D’s boyfriend says that he thinks that C.B. is getting frustrated with JR. That she’s got an infection. (SURPRISE!!! Looks like he *is* doing to you the same he did to me. Go figure.) She should get used to getting lots of infections, just like I did. I also let her know that if JR tried to come there, he’d be told to leave. I’m not going back.

For April Fool’s Day I contemplated telling D that my manager and I talked about it, and we decided that I could go back over there, and she could send C.B. to this store. I decided that it was hilarious, but too mean, so I didn’t. I had a great laugh about it though.

There was a sighting of JR, I believe it was a coincidence. We were driving home from the grocery store and passed him walking down the street. Which is highly unusual for him. He eyeballed my car as we passed by. I thought that would end up spurring something, but so far there’s been nothing.

On the 15th of this month I got a call from the newest person at that store. I was occupied when she called, and was given the message to call her back. I dreaded it, feeling that I was probably going to regret it. We played phone tag, and when she got me on the phone she wanted to know if I was in the back alone. She then proceeds to ask me who I thought would steal her pain medication. She didn’t want to point fingers at anyone (but she wanted me to) Seriously?? I kept saying I don’t know. It was a very strange, awkward, uncomfortable conversation. The only reason I called back was I thought it was actually something work related. Wrong. The level of insanity at that store is off the charts. I am so, so glad that I’m not there anymore, and really wish that I had moved over here sooner.

Meanwhile, Back in Opposite World…Part 2

I went into fight or flight mode, immediately. The shaking started, and I was in a panic. While my store manager hadn’t done a bang up job so far of keeping Crazy Asshole away from me, I knew that he did at least keep the drama down between the two Flying Monkeys at work. Without him there to put the kybosh on their bad behavior, I knew that D wouldn’t do anything to keep Crazy Asshole out. I knew that C.B. would start having him in the store, hanging out, constantly. I knew that I had to get out, fast. I talked to my boss that Friday night, almost hysterically asking him if I could go with to the other store.

The very next day, after I had left for the day, C.B. did just what I knew she would. She had Crazy hanging out in the store, and let him use the store’s fax machine. I stayed at that store for a week, and they let me transfer to the other store. I started at the other store (my new store) on February 22nd. D was very upset, and supposedly hurt, that I asked to leave now that she was the store manager. See how I’m expected to show her loyalty, while she stabbed me in the back, repeatedly, for over a fucking year? I was expected to stay there, and help her do well in her new position. Pffffffffft Are these people serious??? “Now you be a good doormat and stay here.” No thanks!

As when we left C.B. and “J” back in August, I know that it will be a matter of time before C.B. and JR implode. It will be epic. Again she’s/he’s bonding with another person, over being cruel to me. He hadn’t stopped, but instead was finding new and improved ways to try to get to me. D finally wouldn’t tell him if I was working, so C.B. and him came up with the next best thing, a live in schedule! Someone who could get to me on a nearly daily basis. Up till then I had been parking my new car away from work, so he wouldn’t know what I was driving, or when I was at work. No need to do that anymore. She had been regularly throwing fits, and not doing her job. I had finally gotten to the point of talking to my boss about her. She had actually become combative at work, with everyone but him, of course. For him she reserved the tears. (I fell for those too, once.) I was documenting everything figuring that if I complained about anything that she did, she would say that my real problem was that she was living with my ex. So I found myself walking on eggshells again, only now it was at work instead of in JR’s house, but it was still largely due to him. I dreaded going there.

Hindsight

I realized that since meeting me and subsequently meeting JR, C.B. had been hedging her bets the entire time. JR was inappropriate with her nearly immediately. They had begun texting each other, behind my back, almost right away. She was still with her long term boyfriend at that time, that was just before she started cheating on him with the one who tried to kill her. When I fled him, moving in with her, she put on a good show, at first, about telling him that he didn’t have permission to contact my daughter (she owned that phone my daughter was using). After he started coming into work like gangbusters, she gave him her number, “So that she could keep him away from me, and so I would know when he was planning on coming into work.” (So helpful!) I asked her not to. I’m sure that they were in communication the entire time since I left him. She made sure that she had another place to go, rent free again, after leaving J’s place. Even better to get back at me for not being her doormat and putting up with her bad behavior. Hindsight is great, isn’t it?

But, we get to now. Now, I’ve gone to the store across town, the one that I rather he went to over the last year. The one where it’s on court record that’s “too far for him to go”, at least that’s what his attorney argued. Still with my old boss, but different employees. The store with the bad attitude, bad customer service. I was demoted, but at that point I didn’t care, I just wanted out.

On to the next part…

Meanwhile, Back in Opposite World…Part 1

So much to catch up on. First off, I have been fantastic! I no longer have a constant cloud of dread and anxiety hanging over me. It’s been a long, exhausting fight, getting to this place.

Back in January (The 8th) JR was still up to his old tricks, he sent in my ex coworker to “talk” to me and had our ex roommate “M” text me. (On the same day, as has happened before. It’s kind of a give away) The ex coworker came in fishing for information on where I lived now, I abruptly shut him down, telling him that because of Crazy NO ONE gets to know where I live. He also asked if I was working the next night, under the pretext of coming back. In another of the AMAZING COINCIDENCES that consistently surround JR, JR called the store the next night, the very night that ex coworker asked about. Supposedly looking for parts, which as usual, we didn’t have, but the other store did (yet he never went there to get them, what a surprise!) He tried pretty hard to get me on the phone. The first time he called my coworker answered, JR asked if C.B was working (knowing full well that she wasn’t, I’m sure), and decided that he had to call back. I still didn’t answer the phone. Funnily enough, they were those parts from back when he lost his shit and screamed at his FM on the phone. He so desperately needed them! That happened back in November, this is two months later!

During this time C.B. simply reveled in talking to me about her house, and her new pet, and her trip to go get her pet. They (C.B and JR) took their first couple vacay in January, driving down to Georgia for several days to visit her friends and relatives and to rescue an animal. I used the Grey Rock method constantly at work by now. Flat, monotone responses, no questions, no reactions, yet noting the look of pleasure she would get on her face every time she mentioned her home. She pretended that she didn’t think I knew that she was living with him with our coworkers. She tried to save face with everyone telling them that she wasn’t with him, she was just renting a room from him. (In order to rent a room, you actually have to PAY rent. She finally admitted to T that she was not paying anything.) The one and only  thing I said to my coworkers was that if anyone deserved to be together, it was definitely those two. They are so very much alike.

As far as the ex roommate, he sent an extremely odd, out of left field text. He asked, “If they made a movie about your life, who would be the starring role?” I couldn’t resist the urge to really fucking give it to him, I don’t care that it was pretty passive aggressive. I’ve spent well over a year of doing what I am supposed to do to make that Crazy Asshole go away, to no avail. My answer to him was Bridget Fonda, co starring Jennifer Jason Leigh. Or Annabella Sciorra, co starring Rebecca De Mornay. It could also be Julia Roberts co starring Patrick Bergin *winkey face* ~They’re stars of the movies Single White Female, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle and Sleeping with the Enemy.~ All movies that I can definitely relate to, unfortunately. He quickly exited stage right.

I was angry and decided to call him out. I asked him what was up with me only hearing from him every six months or so, he quickly turned it on me, calling me a “silly girl” (repeatedly) and that he never hears from me. (not true) He asked how I’ve been and I told him. Boy did I ever. I told him that my life is relatively drama free, even though Crazy Asshole still tries to stir up shit with cunt bucket. He feigns ignorance of what I’m talking about. I told him that Crazy Asshole is still up to his same ‘ole same ‘ole won’t go away BS and that dealing with badly behaved toddlers is tiring, that I stay as far away as I’m able. That C.B was pissed that I was promoted at work, and constantly throws fits now, and JR always has to have the circus, getting as many people as possible involved in coming into my work, and that the both of them get off on it. That I’m back in my OWN place, WITH electricity, with no cunt buckets or crazy, abusive, stalking assholes. I also told him that I had a nice chat with the ex before me over the summer, that I found out some more psychotic shit about him, that she verified what I’d already thought about his lying, cheating, psychotic ass and that her and I keep in touch. He ends the conversation saying he wants to stay in touch, that was January 10th. I heard from him again on March 28, in what I figure was a mass text about March Madness. Haven’t heard from him since, no surprise there.

Friday February 13th, I had off. I get a text from another of my coworkers telling me that my store manager is being sent to the other store across town, that the FM (that I kept asking to step out of the middle) is the new store manager.

Continued…