Today Was Much Better…and Then…

I envisioned a white light surrounding me for the better part of the morning, (thank you AoA!!) before The Underminer came in. I was in a much better mood, definitely more at peace. She didn’t answer for me once today. Although I got a phone call at home from her, which had me second guessing myself. But, that issue is something I’ll have to look into tomorrow.

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A different friend of mine recently started seeing a guy who was trying to move things along at the speed of light. They’ve known each other a month and he’s telling her he loves her, he wants her to meet him mom, asking if they’re exclusive, talking about “what if we move in together six months from now?” Big. Red. Banners. Alarm bells are going off, left, right and center. I don’t know that he’s disordered, but something is not right.

Of course I was trying to warn her. Woah slow down, this is going way too fast. These conversations are things people normally talk about at least six months or so down the line. She noticed some of the flags, without me pointing them out.

This morning I awoke irritated, due to dreaming about the narcopath. I don’t usually remember my “regular” dreams, and lately it’s been no different even when dreaming of him. Nightmares I usually remember, but thankfully there have been no nightmares since the beginning of July. About the only thing I remember about this dream is that there was a toilet involved. (Ha ha! How’s that for symbolism?)

What does that have to do with anything?

After work, my friend told me that she was awoken in the middle of the night by her new beau, pissing in her bedroom. He peed on her dresser and carpet. Twice. Did it the first time, went back to sleep, woke back up and did it again. The second time, she asked him why the hell he was doing that, his response was “Because I can.”

She asked him to leave and he did. Never once apologizing. I knew nothing of this until after work, and when she told me, I told her of my dream today. We laughed a great deal about that.

Now here’s the kicker. He texts her saying he’s sure she never wants to speak to him again and he loves her. She responded that she is disgusted, baffled, and that he was belligerent with her when she asked why. He still hadn’t apologized. Out comes the “I want to die” text.

I told her that if he keeps that bullshit up that she should call the police, because he’s a danger to himself, and they can pick him up and put him on a 72 hour hold. He sends her another text saying that he wants to die tonight. So, she did it. She called the cops, and they’re currently trying to find him.

My opinion is, it was a manipulative statement designed to get her to act exactly hows she’s now acting. Worried, scared, wanting to take off and look for him. (I put my foot down there and refused to watch her kids so she can do that.) This is someone she decided that she doesn’t want to be involved with anymore, but he’s managed to become all she’s focused on for the last several hours.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand concern for someone wanting to harm themselves. I’ve had one friend who committed suicide, a family friend’s kid committed suicide, my cousin attempted suicide, and the Flying Monkeys boyfriend contacted me more then once saying he wanted to hurt himself. Aside from my friend, who I was out of contact with for a couple years, they all told me they wanted to hurt themselves beforehand. I was able to tell my aunt and get my cousin help, but the child of the family friend was bound and determined to leave this earth. And she did. But, I digress.

I’ve heard those threats more than once, from people who had no intention to do so, (ex narcopath included) and were purely stating that to be emotionally manipulative. I feel that is the case today. I obviously hope I’m not wrong. I sincerely hope he’s just a douchebag, and doesn’t carry out his threat.

All because he was piss drunk and pissed on her carpet. Because he can.

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4 thoughts on “Today Was Much Better…and Then…

  1. So glad the psycho shield of white light worked…the phone just shows that she knew she couldn’t penetrate the light-had to try another way….soon, that won’t work either! On the suicide threats-I fell for that and ended up here…15 years later. By the end of my relationship, the ex would just silently leave the house with a gun in hand-not a word. He refused to get any help, which tells me that it was manipulation-people who use this tactic to control are not worth a single breath-that is one of the most cruel things a person can do emotionally to another. I attempted this myself at a young age-didn’t tell a soul what I was planning-then, in later years, when “that feeling” would come, I would seek help-real help.

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    • Me too! It was such a relief. I’ve heard many times in the support groups how the the abuser threatened to hurt themselves to guilt their victim. I personally don’t take those threats lightly, and should have had the ex taken in for doing the same thing. So in the groups, I tell people to report it. I’m so glad that you sought help. ❤ I was thinking last night that I will write a post on suicide. It seemed for a while that people who need help seek me out.

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      • It’s quite a scary feeling…it’s definitely a good idea to call in a third party. I would also never discredit a suicide threat-I actually spent a year volunteering at a suicide hotline. It was not always a serious phone call-many prank calls would be received, and that opened my eyes to how cold and heartless people could be. You are being sought out for a reason! There is an online, free training through The Jason Foundation, if you are interested…all educators in my district have to go through a training module of it every year…💜

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      • For sure. I take that very seriously, especially because of people coming to me. She did the right thing and got people who can help him involved. As of this morning I had no word if he was found safe. I will look into that training. 🙂

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