When the adult survivor of emotional child abuse decides to take a break (whether temporary or permanent) from the birth family, that decision may come to a shock to people in their social circles. From the outside of the family circle—and even within it, at times—everything has looked perfect, tidy, and loving. To all who gaze at the birth family, the portrait of a good and loving family is all they see.
In that light, the decision to take a break may seem out of nowhere. However, that life-changing, painful decision has not come lightly. Many adult children have agonized over the decision, discussed it with mental health professionals, and also gone back to analyze all the years of small events and large ones leading to this drastic measure.
And when the adult survivor of emotional child abuse separates themselves from the birth family, they often upset the family’s self-image…
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thephoenixagain 
Excellent postings. too often the word “family” is held in such esteem. And people are judged harshly for speaking poorly of family or taking a break from family. Sometimes it is a profound act of love by the person for him or herself to step away from it all.
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I agree. I stayed and tried to fix things, or work things out, with my family of origin for many years before it finally dawned on me that to them I will never be “good enough”. It was a difficult, but the best decision I made for my kids and myself. I want them to have healthy relationships, not disfunction. We’ve been treated better by strangers then my “family”. My family is now what I make it. A few close friends, who we are valuable to.
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