WARNING!! there’s a lot of cussing, if that offends you then you want to skip this one.
I want to scream. I want to scream my head off and then go hide in a cave some place for a while.
This past Friday night My Angel, my friend who helped me when I needed it, when I needed a place to go to escape the psychotic ex, was beaten by her now ex boyfriend. He tried to fucking kill her.
I was in the next room and didn’t know he was beating her, it had gotten quiet. They had been arguing, but they had gotten quiet so I thought it was over. I didn’t know he did that until she called me at work the next morning to call off work.
She never thought he would do that. He would never lay a hand on her.
I felt powerless for months because I could see where it was going. It reminded me too much of what I just left.
The escalation. She had long been withdrawing. She wasn’t allowed to do anything, that included other people, without him. She wasn’t allowed to cut or dye her hair. She wasn’t
to watch certain TV shows or movies. On her days off she often sat alone in her room. He was constantly accusing her of cheating on him. He accused her of sleeping with me. ~side note: if I actually had all the sex I’ve been accused of having, I might be in a better mood. According to JR and My Angel’s ex, I’m screwing everyone. ~ Those are only the tip of the iceberg I’m sure.
It was killing me because I knew she had to be the one to make the decision. I believed her when she said he would never put his hands on her. But he did. He did and he tried to kill her.
Thankfully she left. She went to the hospital. She didn’t cover up for him. She reported it to the police. He was arrested and has been charged. Today he made bail. I’ve been scared shitless about what will happen, if he will come after her. And I can’t help it, my reaction to the whole situation. It’s been one huge trigger. I’m trying to get a hold on my emotions, as not to freak her out anymore then she already is.
We’re in a safe place. But I don’t trust the person who helped her. I know his motivation behind helping her, and he got stuck with me and my kid in the process because she wouldn’t leave us there. He doesn’t want me and my kid here, it’s very obvious. I’ve had to stop myself from telling him to fuck off and shut the fuck up. I appreciate him helping us out in a difficult spot. But he’s a liar, a pompous egomaniac.
He talks about all these super important people in his family, how he knows what’s going on with her case (because of those super important people in his family) and how the information I read in black & white (from a credible source) isn’t true. Blah blah blah. He said to me tonight, “I know you’re not used to people like me. (Who have super important people in their family)” and that’s when I lost it. I told him “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. And you don’t know what the fuck I’m used to so don’t make assumptions about me.” He shut his trap and went back inside “apologizing” because he didn’t mean to offend me.
The fact of the matter is: this is the most dangerous time, when fleeing the abuser. The statistics are there. I’m not on my computer so I can’t post a reference. I know this is a fact. And Mr. Pompous Bragging Asshole is, in my opinion, giving her a false sense of security.
Lies offend the hell out of me. Taking advantage of someone when they’re vulnerable offends me.
Telling her would be as effective as writing the words on water. She’s going to do what she’s going to do. My gut tells me it’s not going to end well.
I’d rather live in a shelter. That’s what I’m looking into tomorrow in case I can’t find an apartment in the next few days.