A Typical Day


I was so hoping to get to sleep before 3 am. Ugh. I can’t wait till this is over with.

I come here in order to vent. I’m tired of talking about JR to my friends, I’m sure they’re sick of hearing about him. Not that they’re not concerned about what he’s doing to me, or how I am doing, but it usually turns into a longer conversation then I care for. In a typical day I hear any number of people excusing his behavior. I’ve had to discuss him with a couple of my co workers due to the restraining order.

Today, “Is he going to get fired?” I don’t know. “What if he gets fired?” Well, I guess he should have thought about that before pulling this shit, hey? His behavior is NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, he tried his damnedest to make it my responsibility when I was with him, but it wasn’t and still isn’t my responsibility. I kept putting this off, in the hopes that he would just STOP. Instead of stopping, it kept escalating. This is not something I did. He has had no consideration of me, whatsoever, this entire time. Yet I’m expected to have all sorts of consideration for his crazy ass.

I’m being punished for leaving

He obviously didn’t want to be with me, so I left. He obviously didn’t love me, so I left. I didn’t treat him badly. I didn’t lie to him. I didn’t cheat on him. I didn’t use him, like “everyone else” in his life. I loved him and wanted to have a life and family with him. He acted like I was holding him back from something, (not buying his lies, him being able to sleep with everyone & continually putting my health at risk) so I left. I am not going to stay some place I’m not wanted. I’m not going to “make” someone be in a relationship with me. (It was always my decision if we were together or not, “It’s up to you.”  “It’s your call.”  “The ball is in your court.” What?!?) I paid rent the last month I was there, even though I knew that he cheated and gave me an infection. I packed up my stuff quietly and I left. I didn’t go batshit crazy on his side piece. (Boy would he have loved that.) I treated her with the same indifference as I treated him, and I LEFT.

After I left I talked to a couple of people that we were both friends with, after that I stepped away from them. I emailed him three times. I know he read all three, gmails got that nifty setting to see when emails are read. There were no phone calls, no text messages, no emails wanting to know what happened, or discussing the relationshit. I took my child, what was left of my dignity, and anything that mattered to me and I left. I didn’t lay eyes on him, and wasn’t in the same room with him for 78 days after I moved out.

Email #1 (Sent December 19th 2am – night before I was to go pick stuff up)

I want my roaster oven & any other of my possessions out of your car. You can put them either on the air hockey table or on the front porch, by my other possessions, for me to retrieve.  I will retrieve the remainder of my items before the end of this month. When I have taken my possessions out of your house I will give M the keys (if he’s home.) If M’s not home I will lock the house behind me & drop the keys in the mail slot. I will let both M & yourself know when I have done this so that you can then change the locks.

When I left on Thursday December 12th, I left the phone that I purchased on your phone plan (attached to #-###-###-####) on the side table in the living room plugged into the charger. I am no longer responsible for that phone. That is your new phone. It has been  reset to fsctory settings,  all you have to do is change the number for that line & set it up.

At no time will you ever again contact my children in any way, shape or form for any reason.  EVER. You should no longer have A’s phone number in your phone to make sure that doesn’t happen again. If you continue to contact her/them I will proceed accordingly.

Any questions?

Email #2 (Sent December 19th 7pm – after I picked stuff up and saw that he didn’t take my things out of his car)

I want my possessions out of your car asap. I want to get the rest of my stuff so I can give my keys back.

Email #3 (Christmas Eve, after the texts posing as me)

It wasn’t a good idea for you to text my friends posing as me. I would think that you had to know that they would tell me about it. You need to cease and desist from sending any texts posing as me. You, JR, are the owner of and in possession of that phone and the sim card attached to (###) ###-####. I’m sure the police will have no issues getting those records.

And I’m done

That was it. I was done. Those three emails are the extent of my contact to him after leaving. I gave up on anything that was in his car, and decided that it was worth it to replace it. It clicked that he was withholding these things thinking he was further punishing me. I cut my losses. I wasn’t about to contact him from my phone, since I didn’t want him to have my number. I also wanted every communication to him documented, just in case. I had no idea that he would come after me the way that he did. I thought he would be happy that we were gone.

So I get offended when people, no matter who they are, act like I’m the one who’s being unreasonable. That my reaction to his stalking and harassment is uncalled for. I have reiterated so many times that I have been NO CONTACT since Christmas Eve. I’m not “poking the bear”. I don’t go to places he frequents, I barely leave the house. I don’t continually contact his friends and his co workers. I don’t talk to people he knows, in fact I’ve blocked them. I don’t ask people about him. I don’t send people to get information on him. I have to keep telling people that I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. I don’t show up at his job. I don’t go anywhere near his neighborhood. I have done NOTHING to deserve ANYTHING that he has done, during the relationship or after. I have left him, his family, and his side piece, alone. He is a sick asshole.

I carry no guilt about him possibly getting fired. His actions, his behavior is what has caused this, not mine. My only worry about his possible job loss is him having more time to fuck with me, that’s it. Any concern, consideration, compassion, or empathy I had for him – he killed.

It’s been suggested to me by a couple of people that I need to talk to his job. That considering everything he has done, they need to know. One person who told me this is in law enforcement. I’ve thought about it, and I’m going to see how it goes with the restraining order. His job will find out about that, whether I make it known or not. If the restraining order doesn’t stop him, I’ll let the lawyer handle it. One person seemed to think that is “excessive” going to his job. No, his behavior has been excessive, and criminal. He is someone who works in an area of law enforcement, and is not above the law, no matter what he thinks.


6 thoughts on “A Typical Day

  1. Wow, the similarities between our situations are incredible…I didn’t realize the Ex’s employer might find out about the restraining order. I guess that’s why he’s trying to claim it’s “fake”, although my evidence was already reviewed by a Judge and he’s the one who extended it.


    • They all go to the same school. They might have slightly different tactics, but are all the same in essence. Very unoriginal as another blogger put it. It’s like we’ve all been married to/dated/etc the same guy/girl.

      I can only imagine that in court he will simply deny everything in order to try to get it dismissed, and I’m pretty sure he’ll get a lawyer. Which is why I decided to get a lawyer. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I get a permanent order. Surprisingly enough he’s never had one on him before. I checked him out before we started dating. I can’t believe that I’m the first ex that he’s done this to. This needs to be on his record as a warning to others. If I would have seen a restraining order, I would have said, “SEE YA!!!!” and I never would have dated him.


  2. what anyone’s thoughts are concerning if what you do is ‘excessive’ or not is simply, not their business. They have NO clue what you are going through. They have NO idea the daily fear you live with! This is about YOU, YOUR safety, and YOUR emotional well-being. One way or another JR needs to realize, the control over you has now been taken away! Stay strong my friend. You know your situation better than anyone else! ~hugs~


    • It’s so frustrating getting that response from people who know what he’s done, and who know what kind of person I am. It illustrates why the issue of domestic violence (and the like) isn’t treated in the manner in which it should be. People are apt to blame the victim. One person told me that I needed to stop. Stop what?!?!?!? Talking I guess. Stop telling the truth about him? I guess I’m supposed to keep silent. Because I certainly didn’t do anything to the guy to be told that I needed to stop. I couldn’t believe that.

      This should be a clear sign to him that I mean business. I will do my damnedest to make sure that he is held accountable for his actions and behaviors. He is not untouchable. I’m not putting up with his shit anymore.


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