The Only Contact He’ll Get From Me Is

                                      itsover

being served with papers. I was granted a temporary restraining order today.

I did well until I got to the court house, then the shaking and crying began. The fear that they would tell me that he hasn’t done enough was overwhelming. The fear of the possible repercussions of filing have been a big part of why I kept putting today off.

I realized it was insanity on my part, hoping that he would stop, when he clearly has no intention to. At this point he probably feels untouchable. He’s been able to repeatedly come into my work, knowing that I had tried and failed to have him banned from the store. He had no police pounding on his door after sending out those texts on Christmas Eve. The pictures he posted of me are still up there.

I marched up there, (literally, because I walked to the court house.) with my folder of everything I could gather as far as proof, and filled out the paper work with one of the victim/witness service people. It was a relief to hear the words, “It’s been approved.” A relief and agony. Agony that it’s had to go this far, that I have to go to these lengths to be safe from him. That he can’t simply leave me alone, and let me be at peace. Agony because this will affect his job, possibly causing him to be fired. If that happens I have no doubt it will be open season on me. I will be the “crazy bitch” who cost him his job and he’ll have plenty of time to then further stalk and harass me. I don’t think he’ll try to kill me, but I don’t really know that for sure.

I’m so tired.

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4 thoughts on “The Only Contact He’ll Get From Me Is

  1. Thank God it was approved! And it amazes me, that even with him potentially loosing his job stalking and harassing you, he is STILL acting like a douche bag!! Like my post says about boundaries, they don’t feel they are in place for them!!!

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    • Exactly. No boundaries, no consequences, no personal responsibility, no forethought, above the law, no self control. These were all things that I couldn’t believe I had to explain to 1) an adult 2) a corrections officer. I found myself explaining actions and consequences OFTEN to him. He couldn’t understand why when he did something fucked up, I didn’t want to cuddle with him, have sex with him, etc. and would accuse ME of treating him “inhumanely” Ridiculous.

      He will be served in the next five days. I will be notified when he is. I think it’s going to send him into a rage. That’s what I’m preparing myself for. I’m looking into lawyers now.

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  2. Good for you girl! Never mind “his job”…he’ll lose that all on his own, NOT your fault – never. Just stay safe sweetie. hugs

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    • I know that he’s putting his job in jeopardy with his behavior, I have no guilt as far as that goes. I just know how he’ll justify/blame me, as he’s responsible for nothing, including and especially his lack of self control and his behavior. If he had any forethought about his job, or even consequences to his actions, then he wouldn’t behave in the manner that he has.

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