I had a fantastic weekend! I made it through without any other incidents, thank goodness.
I was nervous due to one of the people in the group I went out with has known him for years. I had been out with her and JR a couple times previously, and I didn’t get the impression that she really cared for me. I wasn’t sure how Saturday night was going to go because of that. It was a very pleasant surprise. I went to dinner and out to a party with a group of friends. I am so glad that I went!
I was determined not to bring him up, I wasn’t going to allow him to ruin my evening, and I didn’t.
It was such a relief to have fun, without having to worry about someone’s imminent inappropriate behavior, had I still been in a relationshit with him. There were so many times I only went to make him happy. (as if that will ever happen, he will never be happy) At the end, going out in public with him was such a production. He had an entirely different persona that he donned, to go with his outfit. He would be obnoxious, inappropriate, hurtful and embarrassing. Very much an attention whore. It was so unbearable I finally decided I would skip any outings, had I stayed.
I didn’t have to worry about looking over my shoulder, for him to
pop stalk in. I felt completely safe the entire time. I got dressed up, felt sexy, went dancing and enjoyed the company of my friends. There were a couple times the emotions of appreciation, and thankfulness were overwhelming, and nearly brought me to tears. Sometimes it’s such an emotional roller coaster. But, it was overwhelming happiness for a change. I haven’t had that much fun since last September.
I was surprised at the end of the night when his friend said to me, “I’m glad you’re not with JR anymore. I’ve known him for a long time and he’s bad news.” My response was, “I wish I would have known that beforehand.” and I left it at that. I thought it was a possibility that she knows how he really is, and what a relief.
I have legal stuff to take care of this week, starting tomorrow. I still have to work on the I’m Not Freshly Pressed Award. I haven’t forgotten, it’s just been crazy since I was nominated.
I want to let all of you know how much I appreciate you, and how much you and your stories have helped me and are helping me on my road to recovery. I just told my friend, and the same goes to you in this community, you have helped my psyche so much. There’s no way for me to express how much it means to me.