It’s frustrating that my memory, which is usually sharp, is somewhat foggy now. I attribute that to dealing with his BS for the last year. Trying to remember what incident set off which argument, disappearing act, etc has been somewhat of a challenge. I have great clarity about the beginning and the end. What I have trouble with is the middle, especially the stuff that happened when I lived with him and dealt with that shit 24/7.
Where I Left Off
In December he had a roommate move in, a friend of a friend needed a place to stay. I don’t think I actually laid eyes on D until mid January last year. D is very cool, Australian by birth, so he’s got an awesome accent. Also, an epic beard, but that’s got nothing to do with being British. 😉 There are few things that I look fondly on from the past year, meeting him is one of them.
Looking back, JR flaked out around every holiday. He did it Christmas 2012, for sure New Years Eve that year, Valentine’s Day 2013.
Christmas 2012, when he was “responding” to P’s texts in his drunken state, I gave him a pass. (No need to beat me up for it, I’ve already kicked my own ass.) For Christmas I had gotten him a mini leg lamp from A Christmas Story and was set to give it to him after New Years Eve.
His compliments to me during this time were something else. He was crossing stuff off his bucket list. He couldn’t believe that he was with someone who’s (looks like) a Suicide Girl. He wanted to buy me sexy outfits, underwear. Oi vey. The day before New Years Eve I was by his house, using his washer & dryer. – BTW that’s one of his ploys. He uses it often, offering up his washer and dryer. He did it with me, JC, and the couple we met at Hooters. But I digress. – He invited me out with him for New Years Eve. He was showing me the outfit he was planning to wear for the Stellar Sparks event when told me he still had a ticket left, and asked if I wanted to come with. I said that I would see if I could manage it.
We both headed off to work and later that day I made arrangements for my kids on New Years Eve so I could go. About 9 hours after the invitation I let him know I would go, and I get a text that says, “I think I sold the other ticket” Um, ok. You think you sold the other ticket? He made it sound like he sold it to someone at work. He had several excuses as to why he sold the ticket, I was supposed to have the kids, I had to work the next morning. Ok, fine.
New Years Eve, my car wouldn’t start. I asked him if he could help me out with that, as he does side work on cars. He had come down with a cold a few days before, and couldn’t come look at my car, but said he could give me a ride to work on the 2nd of January. For the record, I tried to fix my car myself and couldn’t figure out the problem. New Years Eve there was a lot of hemming and hawing from him. He didn’t want to see me because he didn’t want to get me sick, he didn’t know if he was going to go because he wasn’t feeling well. Poor, poor him. In the end he went, loaded up on cold medicine.
I got a mass text with a picture of him wishing Happy New Year the next day. He gave me a ride to work on the 2nd. On the way in he talked about how he tried to sell his tickets (plural) on Craigslist, but people only wanted to pay half of what they were worth. Since he couldn’t at least make his money back he decided that he was going to go even though he was sick. All that kept echoing in my head was, he said TICKETS! After getting home from work I go onto Facebook and see that he’s uploaded his pictures from New Years, and he brought another girl. Wow. Enter “De”.
To properly introduce De, I have to back track to JR’s birthday back at the end of November 2012. His birthday was a week after we started talking. He’d invited everyone at our store to his 3 day birthday celebration. (Yes, 3 days) The first day was at a bar, I didn’t go. I went to his house party which was the second day. The third day was at a strip club, supposedly one of his exs works there, I’m guessing it’s #2. I didn’t go to that day either. I met De at his house party. She said she met him off Craigslist looking for someone to go to a concert with her and he was the only guy who didn’t send her a picture of his penis, so she figured he must be alright. I knew she spent the night by his house, I also knew that she didn’t drive at the time and lived in a different city. This was a week in to talking to him, and I had no expectations of him at that time. We were just getting to know each other. Before going to his house for the party I asked what he was looking for from me, his response was “I’m just rolling with it, if that’s ok.” I had no clue what that meant. After the party I figured him and De were more than “just friends”. I’d asked JR about her after his party, he denied anything intimate, and protested about her age. (She was 19 at the time, he just turned 29.) He said she has a boyfriend, and that she was trying to go behind his back, which JR didn’t like. (Another reoccurring theme.) Weeks later, before I was intimate with him I asked the questions how long since he’d had sex, had he been tested lately, etc. It had been months since he’d had sex, since before P had kicked him out of his bedroom. Blah, blah, blah.
Back to New Years Day, we’d been seeing each other for a month and a half and I was floored after seeing the pictures. A friend at the time tried to say, “Well, you guys aren’t exclusive.” That was not the point. Why bother to invite me at all? I hadn’t asked him what he was doing for New Years, not even hinted. There was no obligation to invite me. Then to lie about selling the ticket, that’s what bothered me the most. Invite me, UNinvite me, and then posted pictures of another girl. So when he texted me that night, I didn’t respond. I got a text asking, “Why am I being ignored?!” Later that night I got a couple of phone calls from a blocked number, that I didn’t answer. The next day he’s still texting me. I told him that it was a shitty thing that he did. He puts himself out there that he’s open, honest and respectful. It was hurtful and unnecessary. He swore he only had one ticket to sell, that was his ticket. She had already bought her ticket well before. What I heard him say in the car was not what happened, he wouldn’t do something like that. He’s not that kind of person. Here’s where he starts texting my friend/co worker telling her that he’s in “a black cloud” because I don’t want to talk to him or see him anymore.
This Is Where It Should Have Ended…
But it didn’t.